Brown Ale - It's Only A Wind Up/ Norman Service

Eurovision baiting novelty single written by future Eurovision songwriter

Label: Radioactive

Year of Release: 1981

In the first few years of Left and to the Back's life I tried to tie the blog neatly in with each year's Eurovision contest by writing some relevant material, but the stats for those entries prove that I might as well have been talking to myself. 

Still, since most readers here seem to hate the contest, perhaps this 45 will provide the spite they're looking for. The British have always had a complicated relationship with Eurovision, feeling entitled to win it while looking down on it at the same time. As a nation, our attitude has been akin to the Goth Kids on South Park entering a talent show to perform lame, half-hearted songs, then acting like scolded teenagers when we inevitably finish in 22nd place.

"But Dave!" I hear you cry. "The Iraq war, our uncompromising approach to international politics and the way everyone is just so jealous of how great we are as a nation was the reason our Electro Swing Birds Eye Potato Waffles song finished in 24th place in 2015!" Er, are you quite sure about that one?

Still, David Mindel was behind that piece of waffly electro versatility, and he also co-wrote this Eurovision mocking novelty single in 1981 as well. You have to wonder if anyone responsible for the contest had checked his track record before hiring him; it could be we had a renegade in our ranks, hired by Putin to upset our chances. 

"It's Only A Wind-Up" is, of course, a rewrite of the 1980 winner for Bucks Fizz, "Making Your Mind Up", and dissects the contest's downsides, from hidden singers in the wings and jarring key changes to the vain and beige attempts to produce music which has luke-warm cross appeal. It's a cosy jaunt through the sillier aspects of the show rather than a savage knifing, though there's one moment when a swear word seems promised, then fails to emerge. Naughty Mr Mindel.

While the song nails some of the worst tropes of eighties entrants to the contest, back when the show seemed irreversibly stuck in some mid-seventies light entertainment twilight, it's off-beam by present day standards. Trucker's key changes seldom occur anymore, and most countries put forward their best pop stars, some of whom even go on to achieve global success if they finish low on the scoreboard (as 2022's "Snap" by Rosa Linn proved). Having some kind of appreciation for pop music as well as Classic Rock is probably essential for watching the contest without throwing a hissy fit, but it's become a world-class spectacle for all the right and wrong reasons, for the garish flash and the class alike, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

As for Mindel, he made most of his money from advertising and TV themes, but did write some superb tracks as well - let's not forget "If (Would It Turn Out Wrong)", loved by all psychedelic pop collectors everywhere, or indeed his own single "In The City" which we've featured on the blog - so his Electro Velvet misstep should be forgiven by all but the harshest of hearts. 

Meanwhile, the B-side "Norman Service" is a strange place-filler, beginning with the line "A polar bear spread thickly with butter is more nutritious than a single Marmite sandwich" and ultimately sounding like a cross between Super Furry Animals "Bing Bong" (when it actually gets going), Can and a train station tannoy jingle. Strange stuff.  

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